Dating journey

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Soon afterwards my mother died and enter, to her funeral, my childhood sweetheart. He felt like a knight in shining armour and quickly we were reconnected and two years later married.

Dating Journey

Eight years later divorced. So I allowed myself some considerable time to get to know me again.


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I also retrained for a new career. Planned for the future.

See a Problem?

Last year I upped the ante. For several months I worked on myself. That deepest, most profound, level of connection where the other person is able to see into you and connect at the very heart and soul of your being. So you had better be prepared. And as we know, rejection sucks. The route to an amazing relationship is to become the person you want to attract. Clearly not by becoming the object of your desire but by matching their values, standards of behaviour and character.

If you want to attract someone driven, solvent, slim and fit, adventurous, intelligent, able to take risks and be open, passionate and good looking then guess what? Chances are they will want the same in their partner.

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It is unlikely that someone like this will hanker after a couch potato, with poor personal standards, no drive and total aversion to change and risk. If you want them to love what they see in you then you need to look inside yourself and work out if you like what you see. Love what you see. If you are filled with self loathing or self doubt then hiding it with any of the masks we wear; make up, fine clothes, accessories, toys, cosmetic procedures etc may work for a while.

Like a sticking plaster. It may even hold up long enough to get someone interested but after five minutes, you are on your own.

Enjoy The Journey, Not the Destination, of Dating

It is also crucial to determine what you want from a love relationship. Create a manifestation list of what would your ideal mate be like and look like.

What are their values? What do you want?


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  • Do you want connection? I expect each partner in a love relationship to work to put the other first or at least on an equal footing as all the existing family who are in the picture. There is enough love and respect and time to go around surely? I embraced online dating. It felt very alien at first, particularly to a Baby Boomer. The internet was in its infancy and internet dating still to be invented. I dived in and attracted a very lovely, funny, generous boyfriend into my life but ended it when I realised we would just never make the chemistry work.

    I did this face to face, catching a train to London for the day. I let the dust settle for some months then went back online for a second go. This time I created a more open profile description. Confidence — Make a list of all the ways that you are a great catch.

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    Create a life that anyone would be excited to share with you! Think about what might help with dating, like joining a dating service, getting single friends to go out with you or getting a singles event listing. This might put you on the dating map in new ways so that the right prospects can find you, or you them. Have a Happy Dating Journey!

    The best is yet to come. She has a private practice in Manhattan and Brooklyn and she does dating coaching internationally by phone.

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    Check out her many books on Amazon and learn more about her dating coaching at Dr. Eligible Magazine is a lifestyle magazine for urban men and women who want the best from their dating life, their relationships and themselves. It features articles and video content on dating, relationships, sex, wellness and lifestyle by some of the country's foremost experts. The magazine is available online, for sale on Apple's Newsstand for your iPad or iPhone and soon to be in print. Here are three steps to take:

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